The Way You Are
by razalude
Summary: Razalude x Airi. He has a choice; live with the pain Airi brings with her mere presence, or rid himself of them and memories of her with Grandfather's box. Does she have a say in Razalude's decision?
1. Thoughts Are Harmless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Raz (I'd love to though), Airi, or anything to do with MeruPuri. Rated **M **for later chapters and stuff.

**The Way You Are**

**Chapter One: Scene I**

With his head in his hands and eyes blending with the color of the sky he stared at intently, Razalude tried to empty his thoughts that were currently chaotic as he gazed out over the balcony in the great hall. Ever since that damn girl came to Astale, his life has been nothing short of miserable. "Stupid girl..." he muttered beneath his breath, brows pinching together and wrinkling his cinnamon hued skin. Why couldn't he just have peace? More importantly, why did that equally as idiotic brat Aram get the girl? There he went again, feeling jealous by the mere thought of Airi being with another. Angered by the emotion, he glared at the sky and muttered a rather harsh curse. If only he had stayed away, kept traveling beyond the borders of the kingdom and away from that irritating girl's clutches. But that wouldn't have helped. No, no matter how far he and his companion flew, he could still feel Airi's skin beneath his fingertips, smell her alluring scent when he was so close to pressing his lips against her chest, against that vow carved into her skin...

His hands balling into fists, Razalude once again felt the twinge of jealousy curling around his heart like her wavy locks around his fingers. What can he do to banish her from the depths of his mind? Perhaps one of the many girls that waited on him hand and foot, though last time he used one to purge Airi from his thoughts, he made the mistake in purring her name in mid foreplay. That didn't go over well with the girl – what was her name again? He mentally shrugged after no effort in trying to recall; it didn't matter, anyways. His gaze falling to the courtyard, he recognized the all too familiar shapes of His Highness Jeile, accompanied by his First Lady Nei, Aram, and – a shiver shot up through his spine – Airi. His eyes locked on her figure, following the path she traveled arm in arm with the useless brat. He allowed his thoughts to give, indulging in the fantasy where it was he, not Aram that was arm in arm with her. Mixed emotions came crashing down like rocks, painfully weighing him down and bringing in a harsh reality check. Coming back to his senses, his eyes adjusted to see that Airi was standing aside from the group, her hazel eyes staring up at him questioning mixed with fear. Immediately a frown crossed Razalude's face and he straightened, whirling away from the marble railing before rather gracefully storming away; though it was as if her eyes could see through the walls of pillars and marble, burning his skin as he retreated down the hall. The dark prince had enough of thinking about Airi, though he hid it quite well on the outside. He could win an Academy Award for the performance he was putting on, but he was only making it feel worse.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he leaned against the cool marble wall, closing his eyes and resting his head back. "Perhaps grandfather's box would do me some justice," he murmured, thinking back on how the box came in handy for a while in the fight to separate Aram and Airi. All he needed to do was confess his feelings aloud while in the presence of the trinket, and all his feelings for that wretched girl would disappear. Maybe then he could go about his life in peace.

"Why would you use the box?" a voice came within a short proximity of his person. The voice sent a cold shudder up his spine, his skin automatically tingling with misery and pleasure wrapped into one.

Opening his eyes slowly, Razalude gazed at the wall opposite of him, willing his voice to be steady enough to reply. "Why would it concern you, Airi-chan?" his voice returning in a smooth drawl that encompassed the danger he could be. Letting his head fall to the side to gaze at her, he put up the emotionless mask he hid behind so well, crushing all feelings and emotions directed at her. No, he would never let her know.

Feeling her heart thump heavily in her chest as she stood face to face with the very man who tried entrapping and killing her, Airi felt proud for a moment that she could even keep her composure in his presence. Grant it, he couldn't do anything to her on penalty of death, but nonetheless it was nerve-wracking to stand before the very man who hated her more than anything. Swallowing hard, she opened her mouth to speak, having difficulties forming the words. "I- I was j-just asking!" she stammered, feeling her face heat up with a blush that only spread as an arrogant smile crept over Razalude's lips. Flustered, her gaze fell to the ground as she spluttered "Idiot!" for good measure.

Pushing himself away from the wall, Razalude straightened, the small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "Are we name-calling, Airi?" He took a step forward, his movement's liquid, almost lazy. It sent a chill through Airi, causing her to take a faltering step back. Feigning astonishment, he took a step to reciprocate her movement. "Are you scared of me still?" scoffing at her reaction, which he could understand and even praised her for not acting over-confident. She couldn't hide behind the death threat against him for long.

Her eyes narrowed into a glare in an attempt at bravado. "No, why would I be?" she spat. She shouldn't be scared of Raz, he was under penance for putting her in harms way and if he broke it, he was to be thrown in the Eternal Prison. Suddenly, Airi's face went blank, eyes wide. What was that just then? What did she just feel? Tentatively, she retraced her steps and went back to the thought of him being thrown into the Eternal Prison. Again, she felt it. Her heart skipped a beat, aching, her stomach twisted into knots. Why would that even bother her? She didn't even care about Raz!

His eyes narrowing, Razalude took a step forward, feeling a twinge of concern for a moment since the girl's face drained of blood completely as if she had just seen a ghost. "What's the matter Airi-chan?" his velvety voice mocked, taking another step forward, bringing him less than an arms length from her slight form. Perhaps he really did scare the girl witless, which would be understandable. He found pleasure in that notion, in scaring her. At least he could claim one of her emotions and call it his own.

Through the haze of shock she saw him moving closer, and with each step brought on a stronger feeling, an emotion she hadn't felt since the first few months with Aram. She didn't think she had enough room in her heart to feel for anyone else other than her prince, but it felt as though a tiny fissure forced its way through the tissues and veins; separating the organ into two distinct parts. It seemed the closer Razalude came, the more wrenched apart the halves grew. "Stop!" she shouted, halting a rather surprised Razalude in his tracks. Her fists clenched tightly at her sides as her face burned crimson, adding, "Don't come any closer! Leave me alone!" before turning on her heel, skidding around the corner and out of sight. "Idiot!" floated towards him from somewhere down the hall as the girl made a hasty retreat.

Stunned, Razalude merely stood there staring at the spot where Hoshina had just occupied. "What the hell... was that?" he asked aloud as if someone would just up and explain the situation to him. "Stupid girl..." he muttered as he too whirled around and stalked off towards his room, his sanctuary where he could pull the mask off and be himself. His cruel, loathing, and uncharacteristic smitten self.

**Scene II**

Her breaths coming in short spurts, Airi struggled to catch her breath as her lungs burned and threatened to burst if she took one more step. Her feet pounded hard against the cobblestone and echoed throughout the hall, all the while threatening to break down the massive marble walls around her. A sob tore from her throat as she finally stopped, crashing against a great stone pillar. Her fingernails grated against the surface, chipping the polish that Maribel begged to apply earlier that day. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she gasped over and over, chest heaving to fill her lungs lest she pass out. Sinking to the ground, she rested her forehead against the stone, the coolness breaking the sweat that covered her skin in a thin sheen. "I hate him, I hate him more than anything..." But no matter how many times she mentally and verbally said it, the words didn't ring true and contradicted the way her heart protested against the mantra. Slamming her fist against the stone beneath her, Airi finally managed to regain her composure before climbing to her feet slowly in case she got dizzy and fainted. Taking a deep breath, she counted to five before exhaling, feeling her anger dissipate but leaving behind the nagging feeling of needing someone _'him'_- her eyes snapped shut, vigorously shaking her head as if to toss the thought right out. _'I don't need him, I don't want him... I don't even like him!'_ she thought harshly to herself, taking slow steps towards her room at the end of the hall.

Airi all but kicked the door down only to scream when lilies burst fourth and showered her – more like buried her – beneath the orange and white petals and leaves. "WHAT THE... JEILE!" her voice rose in a thunderous wave as she kicked and pulled her way through the waterfall of flowers that buried her room beneath the sickly sweet fragrance. Oh, one of these days, the King was really going to get it.

"My Mountain Lily Maiden!" came a voice from the star-shaped mirror hanging on the wall beside her bed. It was supposed to be a direct link to the room her and Aram shared, but apparently the King found a way to break in. "I saw you running hither dither in the halls and I thought 'Oh my! She looks upset!' So I thought you needed a pick-me-up!" Suddenly, the voice came from behind her, and Airi again screamed. Instinctively whirling around, her fist collided with the head of a certain moron, and trying to calm her racing heart, picked at the petals that were caught in her hair. "I thought you'd like this!" cried the over-dramatic Jeile as he peeled himself off the floor.

"I can't see my bed!" Airi yelled, pointing at the spot where her bed used to be, but now a deep carpet of lilies masked her room. "And what did I tell you about that mirror? Jeez, Jeile, really." Her anger once again melted away, feeling guilty that he went through all that trouble to put a smile on her face and she reacted in such a harsh way. Picking a lily up off the floor, she held it to her face, inhaling the comforting scent. "But thank you..."

Smiling, the King climbed to his feet, smoothing his hair back. "You're welcome, Lady Airi. I apologize for intruding, but," his serious tone and look faded and once again the daft Jeile returned, "I couldn't help myself!" A childish grin plastered his face, and with a snap of his fingers, all the lilies but the one she held disappeared. However, the sickly sweet scent lingered behind, as it would for a few days unless she had the maids air her room out – she took a mental note to ask, it was already making her feel nauseated.

Her thoughts occupied, Airi merely stood there, face buried in the lily as her downcast gaze remained on the floor. She didn't want Jeile to ask any questions; once he wanted something it was nearly impossible to get him off track. However, the look on his face, the way he stared at her like he was reading her emotions told her that she was about to be showered with more questions than there were lilies in her room. Sighing heavily, she quickly turned around just as he opened his mouth, interjecting loudly with "I don't want to talk about it-"

"What's got you so- well way to interrupt me!" he cried as he was cut off, planting his hands on his hips. "You know Airi, I am a good listener. After all, I _am_ the King. I listen to my subjects all the time," he said matter-of-factly, waving his hand about before his face rather haughtily. If there was one thing Jeile knew best, it was showing off.

"This isn't something I can talk about." She narrowed her eyes, throwing him a look with a glance over her shoulder. "It's a _girl_ thing." At the mention of it being a girl thing, Jeile's eye twitched and his face began to burn red. Inwardly she smiled, knowing she had him right where she wanted him; five seconds from disappearing. "But, if you really want to listen, I'd be more than hap-"

"NO! I mean, no no, it's fine!" he yelped, taking a couple backward steps towards the door. "If you want to keep it to yourself, trust me! I will not push the matter!" Suddenly, he cupped his hand behind his ear, leaning towards the open door. "In face, I do believe I hear the Grand Chamberlain calling for me! Feel better!" and with that, was out the door and gone before Airi could turn around. A small laugh bubbled out of her, and taking the lily, skipped over to the mirror on the wall, thinking of Aram before passing through. Perhaps spending some time with him would remedy her unexplainable and rather disturbing situation.

Meanwhile, Razalude reached his room and strode inside, the heavy door slamming shut behind his rather exasperated form. He was having an even harder time purging her from his thoughts now. The way she looked at him... it was almost painful. The mere mention of the box, of him using it, and she had the saddest expression on her face. But the minute he started coming near her, she looked horrified. "Damn it!" he hissed, slamming his fist against the wall. It just proved to him what his chances were – which were none. "Like I'd have a chance," he snorted, slowly flexing his aching hand. Releasing a sigh, he crossed the room to his desk, lightly fingering the small royal blue box that sat upon the surface. "If all else fails, I've got you."

_Ok so I am redoing this entire fic, so if you've read it before, you can re-read the chapters again since I'm condensing some of the previous chapters, adding in some tidbits, etc. Sorry if you get confused!! My computer has crashed and I've been dying to get this out, so I actually wrote the entire thing, chapter by chapter, by hand. Crazy, right? So at least I know where I'm going with this and won't get writers block, at least with this story. Reviews are welcome, flames are not. If anyone wants to be my beta, I would surely return the favor! Also, if someone would be kind enough to explain to me why my page breakers and tabs won't work? Thanks!_

_-Razalude_


	2. Author's Note PLEASE READ

**Author's Note**

Good news, guys! My phone has been blowing up recently with emails from people asking me to finish this fic. So far I've gotten good reviews, and paired with people favoriting it as well as requesting for more, I will once again work on this to bring you the best story that I can. So please be patient for upcoming chapters I had to rewrite due to my computer crashing. But I will try my best to bring them to you as quickly as possible, along with the future stories I've been thinking about.

So thank you for all your love and support! I won't let you guys down~

-Host


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